Here I am again: on the floor of my bedroom, surrounded by trash bags, bubble wrap, dirty laundry, piles of stuff that needs to go to Goodwill, and moving boxes. To no surprise, my stress level is through the roof. I’m overwhelmed and anxious and my back hurts, and suddenly a paralyzing thought runs through my mind: Maybe I shouldn’t even be moving after all. Wouldn’t it be easier to stay put for once?
I’ve lost track of how many moves I’ve made in the past several years. I’m slowly but surely becoming better at the process of de-cluttering and only taking the essentials (note: your favorite shirt from middle school is NOT an essential that must follow you into your 20s. It’s just not.) Despite that, I’m still just as overwhelmed by the stress and the upheaval that is the process of moving as I ever was before. The craziness doesn’t seem to get any easier to deal with, despite how hard I try to convince myself it’s going to be a breeze. So when thoughts like this pop into my head, for a split second that voice inside my head convinces me that I’m doing something wrong, that I shouldn’t be moving anywhere after all, that I’m totally crazy for trying to change anything.
That’s when I catch myself. I notice this voice and the way I react to it. I’ve been so excited about this move for weeks – this will be the first time I’m living alone in a space that’s mine… ALL MINE!!!! – yet, this tiny, little, single thought shows up, and suddenly I’m going from feeling all on top of the world and full of potential, right on down to feeling full of shit for even trying.
This is what happens when we are faced with change. We must listen to that voice inside of us, or the outside voices of our friends / family / society, telling us what we should or should not do, and ask: Where is this coming from? If it’s coming from fear, we can decide to listen to it and just stay where we are, because it’s safe and comfortable and effortless. Or, we can decide to live from the place inside of us that knows we are capable of more. The place of bravery, of risk, of trust. The place of love. This is the place were miracles happen. By living in this place, we can make true forward progress. It’s only by embracing change that we can ever grow.
So while in the past, this stress from packing and moving all my crap would have nearly sent me to the loony bin, I’m proud to notice this shift in myself from fear-based living within the status quo, to embracing the chaos and living in that place of trust that things will all work themselves out.
Change = growth. Listen to the voice in your head, but always question whether it’s coming from a place of fear or a place of love before reacting to it. Trust in the process. And you will be just fine, darling.